Set back

Today has been incredibly frustrating for me. New year, new goals and progress to make, it’s just a shame my body doesn’t always understand that message.

Lying in bed this morning, my legs decided not to work, so I had to wait for them to wake up. I got out of bed and onto my normal morning routines, I felt ok except a little niggling headache. Luckily school was an INSET day so no kids for the day.

During the training session at school my knees started burning and then it got progressively worse. I got up to leave the room, made it out of the hall only to collapse and have a grand mal seizure (whole body jerking but still conscious). I had another short-lived seizure and on recovering the level of pain in my knees was excruciating, it reached the level of pain I felt in the summer.

Despite my protests I was forced to go to A&E where the gas and air on tap helped to relieve the pain and calm things down. A hilarious and buxom paramedic kept knocking her assets into my head as she cared for me! That sounds creepy, it really wasn’t that creepy and I was grateful for any distraction from the pain.

Once I arrived at the hospital, the normal long-winded routine from the doctors, the repetitive questions and answers that never seem to tell the whole story. Obviously they can’t offer any new advice or information…things are under investigation.

To be fair they were quicker to respond than previous times and a helpful doctor gave me further prescriptions and understood I just wanted to go home.

So here I am, at home. Frustrated, a little irritated that my body doesn’t understand it needs to get better. But I know this is part of my journey and my outlook is the thing I can control. I don’t choose to see this as a failing, I choose to think about all I things I need to do and haven’t done yet.

“Every setback is a setup for a comeback”

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It’s been hard work coming off the crutches and I am under no illusion about the strength and endurance training I will have to complete to get back to where I was physically last year. But I am more determined than ever to keep push through  rehab to get back to being me.

I still have lots of further tests and scans scheduled for 2015 in order for the doctors to try and find out more about what happened. I guess my mantra has to be not to let the symptoms of a condition define me but to appreciate life’s positives and live my life to the fullest.

Once again a big thank you to everyone who has been there for me the last couple of months.

The best is still come from me, Roll 2015! Tij is coming is coming for you!

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